Do any of these thoughts sound familiar to you?
I’ll start when life is less crazy.
I was going strong, but then I fell off the wagon.
Once I mess up, I might as well just eat whatever I want for the rest of the day/week/month/year.
True confession: I tend to battle my Type A, need-to-be-perfect personality on a regular basis. One would think having kids would knock any need for perfection out the window, but sometimes it seems the drive to be a Pinterest-perfect mom just makes things worse! I wear a lot of hats in my life: mom, daughter, trainer, health coach, and entrepreneur, to name a few. And I often find myself warring between being the patient, fully-present, healthy person I want to be, and the overwhelmed and off-balance person who takes over. Then if I DO “fall off the wagon,” it’s easy to berate myself for not being stronger. Perhaps I’m not alone with these feelings?
If you can relate to the above, I’d love to share a few phrases that have helped me begin to break out of Perfection Prison:
Progress, Not Perfection.
We all love the idea of an instant and total overhaul. It’s why makeover shows are so popular! I mean, what’s more sexy (and convenient!) than an overnight transformation? Especially now, at the beginning of a new year with resolutions fresh in our minds, it’s exciting to think about being our own health and fitness makeover rockstar. And I am all for capitalizing on fresh starts to give us an exciting boost! But it won’t be long until the donuts start knocking at the door, and if we maintain an all-or-nothing mindset, then succumbing once (or twice, or whatever number equals “failure”) means we will be left with...nothing.
So then, what if we made the goal progress rather than perfection? Progress means we can continue being successful even when it is unreasonable to expect that we will always be perfect. It means that we can strive to be just a little better every day, trusting that all of those small gains will add up to bigger victories as we are consistent over time.
Be imperfect, and get sh*t done.
Excuse the language, but this one’s my favorite! It is easy to wait for that perfect, “right time”. The right time to eat more healthfully, to start an exercise routine, to pursue that dream you’ve had for years now. But the reality is, there is no right time.
Our lives will always be crazy (it’s the rule, not the exception!).
At some point, we will “fall off the wagon” (whatever that means!).
But that’s OK! The desire for perfection can immobilize us, making us feel too scared to act on account of the possibility of failing. So what if we start by embracing our inner-scrappiness, and prioritize action over perfection? We watched our kiddos fall down a hundred times before they learned to walk - progress is messy. But mistakes are merely opportunities to do even better next time, and the more we embrace our scrappy side, more freely we can act with confidence.
Practice Self Compassion.
This may be one of the hardest and most important lessons to practice, especially for us recovering perfectionists! When we make mistakes, it is easy to let the berating begin. We may even feel like self-judgement will help us be stronger next time. However, the better, often counter-intuitive choice is self-compassion: treating ourselves with kindness over judgement, recognizing that no one is perfect (including us), and remembering we can always try again! The way we treat ourselves in these moments is crucial to our ability to overcome setbacks. Imagine if our kids came to us upset about a mistake they made - we would assure them that one mistake does not ruin everything. Well, we deserve to give ourselves that same great advice.
Hopefully these three phrases can help you embrace your inner-scrappiness: to celebrate your progress, boldly take action, and immediately wipe the slate clean when a stumble occurs. Here’s to 2020 being our scrappiest - and most joyful - yet!
Niki J. Torres is the owner of Folk Fitness, where she specializes in helping everyday folks come together to build healthier, stronger lives. A personal trainer for over 7 years and nutrition coach, she believes there is strength in numbers, power in fun, and that the smallest changes can make the biggest differences. Niki holds certifications through the National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM), Athletics & Fitness Association of America (AFAA), and Precision Nutrition. Folk Fitness offers in-home personal training, virtual training, and small group training in the Raleigh area, as well as a bootcamp in the Hedingham community. Niki is also the proud mom of two awesome gals.
For more info about Folk Fitness, visit:
https://www.facebook.com/folkfitness/
www.folkfitnessnc.com
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